


Moved On

by aintbeenreddie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Beverly Marsh, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 06:41:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12858960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintbeenreddie/pseuds/aintbeenreddie
Summary: Eddie walks out on Richie, leaving everything behind to start his career in London. Now, reunited a year later, Eddie begins to rethink his decision as old feelings rush back.





	Moved On

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this was originally posted as a 3 part on tumblr, but i'm putting it as a one shot here. please leave feedback to help me improve! (:

“Hey, Richie.”

“Hey ya, Eds.”

Silence.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked.

Silence again.  _God, this was going to be an unbearable phone call…_  Eddie thought.

“Mm, not much. It, uh, it was good seeing you this weekend.”

Eddie shifted in his seat. He and Richie haven’t seen each other in over a year. Since the day he left their small one bedroom apartment and moved to London. Since the day he left Richie behind.

“Yeah, Rich. Same here,” Eddie’s voice came out as just above a whisper.

“So, when are you going back to London?”

“My flight leaves tomorrow night.”

“Which means you’ve been packed since this morning.” He could almost hear the smile through the phone.

“Ha, no one is like you who waits until the HOUR before to start packing.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“You wound me Eddie Spaghetti. I’ve always been excellent at preparation.”

“Don’t call me that. And Richie, you once packed one pair of underwear for an entire weekend trip because you filled most of your luggage with junk food.” He heard the bark of laughter from the other end.

“I didn’t want us to be hungry during ride.”

“It was an hour and a half away!” Eddie couldn’t help laughing along now.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy those Hos-Hos, Eds.”

“Whatever.”

The silence was back.

“Hey, remember our trip to Canada?”

Eddie grinned. “Oh, you mean, do I remember telling you to not go near the wild moose? Or if I remember you immediately doing it anyway? Or if I remember you getting chased by said moose and screaming?” Richie was laughing again. Eddie didn’t realize how much he missed that sound. “I’m pretty sure the video is still on YouTube somewhere.”

* * *

Eddie stomach was aching from laughing so hard.

“You have to admit, Eds. I did a beautiful performance of It’s Raining Men.”

“Richie! You ran up on stage during someone else’s song, drunk off your ass, and started doing the choreo that Chandler’s dad did on Friends! I still don’t know what your definition of beautiful is.”

“Eds, Eddie, you know that was the best birthday you’ve ever had.”

“It would’ve been better if we didn’t get thrown out of my favorite bar on open mic night!”

There was a moment of silence before Richie spoke again. His voice soft. “We had some good moments, huh, Eds? We were just a bunch of kids, but we really loved each other.”

Silence again. Eddie didn’t trust himself to respond.

“I’m sorry.”

“Richie…”

“No, Eddie. I mean it. I know I wasn’t all that great to you, especially towards the end. I know it was all my fault, so I’m just… I’m sorry, ok? I never got a chance to say it before.”

“It’s ok, Chee,” Eddie said so softly, he wasn’t sure the other man had heard it.

“Shit, Eds. It’s really late.”

Eddie glanced at the time on his phone. 3:17am. They’ve been on the phone for almost 4 hours. He really should go to bed, but damn, a part of him didn’t want to. He wanted to talk to Richie more, to reminisce all their good memories, to hear his voice for a little longer. But he also knew that was going to be a bad idea. Plus, he was supposed to be meeting Bill and Stan tomorrow. “Uh, yeah it is. I should go to bed.”

“Right. Uh, sorry for keeping you up.” There was a pause. “Hey Eds? I, uh, I’m glad you’re doing well. I was kind of worried about seeing you this weekend, but I’m glad I did.”

Did Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier just talk about his feelings?

“Me too, Rich.”

“Goodnight, Spaghetti Man.”

“Ugh, don’t call me that. Sleep tight.”

“I’ll try. But you know, your mom keeps waking me up in best way poss-”

“Beep beep, Richie!” There was a chuckle on the other line. “See you, Rich.”

“See ya, Eds.”

They hung up. Eddie sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight.

The truth was, this phone call with Richie brought everything back. All their memories as kids, all their laughs, all the crying, the heartache, the butterflies. Everything. It was like he stepped into a time machine, and everything he’s ever felt for the man named Richie Tozier, hit him in the stomach. Hard.

For the first time in a year, his heart ached for his first love. He knew they were at a better place. He knew he made the right choice accepting that job in London. He knew if he had stayed with Richie back then, he would’ve grown to resent him. But he also knew that he was still very much in love with the dorky trashmouth. He didn’t leave Richie because he stopped loving him. He left because it was the right thing to do. Because he was Eddie Kaspbrak. He always had to do the right thing. Even if it meant hurting the person he loved the most.

Like Richie said, they weren’t at the best place around the time of the breakup. Richie was losing sight of what he wanted to do. All he did was party… the drinking, the drugs… The fighting… It was all too much for Eddie to handle. He was tired of being the one to pick up after his boyfriend.

When they left Derry, both of them had goals and plans for their future. A future together. But everyday, it felt like Richie was going further away from their plans, and it hurt. It hurt Eddie the day he came home to their small apartment, a month before he left. He had opened the door, and the stench of alcohol hit his nose. Richie was passed out on the couch, limbs half hanging off the edge. Eddie set all his stuff down and walked over to his boyfriend, and knelt down. He had brushed the curls out of Richie’s face, tears forming in his eyes. He didn’t know how long he could keep up holding this relationship together. He had tucked Richie in on the couch because he was far too heavy for him to carry into bed. Eddie slept alone that night again, crying himself to sleep. The next day, a coworker had told Eddie of the job opening in London. He made the decision to apply, never dreaming he would get hired. But he did. And four weeks later, he had gotten on that plane and never looked back. Never looked back at his friends, never looked back at his hometown, never looked back at the man he left behind.

The rest of his friends had understood, of course. They had always been supportive of each other. They knew the path Richie was heading down, and they knew the effects it had on Eddie. No one blamed him for leaving and pursuing his career. He and Richie were just kids when they fell in love. They had grown up now. And it sucked to grow apart from each other, but it happens. They weren’t the same kids that fell in love in a small town anymore. They were never meant to be together. These were the words Eddie repeated to himself to bring courage to end their relationship.

For the past year, Eddie thought he had moved on. He thought he had put Richie behind him, in a box with all their memories, way back in the States. He thought he was happier… happier without him. But if he’s realized anything this past weekend, it’s that Richie Tozier still made his heart race, and his stomach flutter, and his face flush. Eddie wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to get on his plane tomorrow.

* * *

It was two in the afternoon, and Richie still hadn’t gotten up from bed. The previous night was replaying on a loop in his head. He hadn’t heard that laugh in over a year, and he wasn’t even surprised it still made his heart flutter.

His phone rang beside him. It was a text from Beverly.  _Flight 231. JFK. At 8:45pm. Just in case you needed this, Tozier._

Richie stared at the message. Eddie’s flight. He sat up from his bed and ran his fingers through his hair. Did Bev think he should stop Eddie from leaving? If he asked Eddie to stay and be with him, would the other man say yes? What would Richie do if he did? What would he do if he didn’t? He pushed the thoughts out of his head. It wouldn’t be fair. Eddie had a new life, he seems happy. Richie wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he ruined that. But then he thought about this weekend and their phone call last night. He thought about how Eddie still takes his breath away. How Eddie’s smile was still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He’d give anything to see that smile every day again.

Richie groaned and fell back into bed. Thankfully, he still had hours before he had to make a decision.

* * *

“So,” Eddie said, sitting across from Bill and Stan, “Richie called me last night.” Bill looked up from his plate. “It wasn’t a big deal, we just talked. Mostly about memories and stuff,” he was pushing his food around his plate.

“That’s good, at least you guys are talking,” Bill smiled at him.

Eddie looked back down at his plate. “I-,” he paused, not knowing how to continue.

“You what, Eddie?” It was Stan who spoke this time. Eddie sensed a little harshness in his tone, but chose to ignore it. Bill seemed to be eyeing Stan cautiously.

“I don’t know,” Eddie said simply. “I just didn’t realize how much I missed him until I saw him, and then last night… We were on the phone for almost four hours, just talking and laughing and reminiscing. And I just…,” he trailed off.

Stan was looking at him with piercing eyes. “Are you willing to drop everything in London to be with Richie again?”

“Stan…,” Bill said warningly as Eddie stayed silent.

“I’m just asking a question, Bill.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie replied.

“Well, whatever you decide, Eddie, just know you have to live with it.” Stan’s face soften, “Listen, I don’t doubt your feelings for him, but I also don’t want Richie to go through what he did last year again. It was really hard for him, Eddie.”

Eddie nodded, as Bill change the subject, trying to break the slight tension in the air. A million thoughts were racing through Eddie’s head. Stan was Richie’s best friend. Of course, he would’ve had to be the one to take care of Richie after Eddie left. It was probably Stan who Richie would call in the middle of the night, crying about Eddie. It was Stan who probably had to pick Richie up at random hours after a night of binge drinking. And it was probably Stan who had to stick through all the hard times before Richie got better. Before he got over Eddie.

* * *

“Have a safe trip, Eddie,” Bill said giving him a hug. “Call me when you land, okay?”

“Yeah, I will,” Eddie broke the hug to turn to hug Stan. “It was really fun this weekend, guys. We sh-,” Eddie trailed off, seeing the look on Bill and Stan’s face. They were looking past him now, with a surprised expression. He turned around. “Richie?” He was as shocked as the other two to see the man walking towards him. He was definitely not expecting Richie to show up before his flight.

“Hey, Eds.” Richie was grinning.

Eddie’s heart was racing. He smiled, dropped his bag, practically ran up to the taller man to wrap his arms around his waist and pull him into a tight embrace. “Don’t call me that. I’m glad you came,” he said, burying his face into Richie’s chest as he felt his arms wrap around him. He could smell Richie’s scent and hear his heartbeat, and it made him melt. He wanted time to stop. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, neither letting go. Eddie felt Richie pushing him away gently and looked up to meet his eyes. God, he had forgotten how beautiful he was. Richie’s eyes, his freckles, the way his curls drooped slightly… Everything about Richie was beautiful. It took all his strength not to press his lips against him.

“Eddie,” Richie’s voice was soft when he spoke. “You know I’ve never been good with saying the right things. I never know how to express my feelings, but what I do know is that I still love you. You’re still the first thought in my head when I wake up, and the last before I go to bed. It’s been a year, and the way I feel about you hasn’t changed. I know I fucked up. I know I wasn’t worth it for you. I know you can do so much better than me.” Eddie could see tears were forming in his eyes. “But, fuck, I want you, Eddie Kaspbrak. I want you for the rest of my life. I want to be able to hold you at night and wake up next to you, every single day until I die. I want to kiss you, and hug you, and care for you. I took you for granted, Eds. I know that, but I promise I won’t do it this time around. Just… please give me the chance. I’ll show you I’ve changed.” He was holding Eddie’s hand now. “You’re still my everything.”

Eddie froze. He was not expecting this at all. And for a moment, Eddie considered saying yes. He wanted to shout how much he loved Richie in a room full of strangers. Scream it at the top of his lungs and let Richie know that he felt the same way. That his feelings for him never changed either. That he was the one that had been stupid. He wanted to rip up his ticket and grab Richie’s hand and run out of this airport and back to his apartment. Their old apartment. He wanted to kiss his lips, his neck, his chest, his everything. He wanted to say so many things, but he stood still, once again, not finding the strength in himself to say what he wanted to.

Eddie thought back to the last moments they had spent together. All the excessive partying with the worse crowd. All the fights they had in the last few months together. If he wasn’t drunk or high, Richie was angry at every little thing around him. Eddie was always on edge when he got into one of his moods. He had tried everything to calm down his boyfriend, but nothing worked, which only frustrated him more. But now, he couldn’t help think about how much Richie had changed. He was more gentle, yet somehow stronger than he was before. Eddie knew the courage it took for Richie to say all those things to him. He knew how hard it was for Richie to show vulnerability, and yet here he was, saying all these things in front of their friends and strangers. When did Richie Tozier grow up?

“Flight 231 to London, please prepare for boarding. The plane will be leaving shortly.”

Eddie looked at the gate and back at Richie, whose cheeks were wet. He put his hand up to wipe away the tears, only to have Richie grab it again, looking at him pleadingly. “R-Richie…,” he was crying now too. He loved Richie so much that his heart ached,  but he thought about what Stan had said earlier, and the clump formed in his throat. Stan was right, Eddie couldn’t possibly understand what Richie went through this past year. Because he had never asked the others, and they knew to never mention Richie. It was just a mutual understanding that the topic of the breakup was never to be brought up. And then Eddie thought about everything he’s been through this past year. What he had accomplished and how much work he’d put in to get where he was. He couldn’t just throw everything away. But the man standing in front of him had been his dream since he was twelve years old. His childhood best friend turned lover. Everything he’s ever experienced was with Richie.

“Richie, I have to go… I can’t,” he paused, watching as Richie’s face contorted in pain. Eddie choked on a sob, “I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He turned around and headed towards the Jetway. Fresh tears falling down his face as he handed his ticket to the attendant, trying his best to not looking back at his friends as he walked out of their lives once more. He knew if he looked back, he probably would never have the courage to continue forward. Even as he sat down in his seat, it seems like the tears were never going to stop.

* * *

It has been almost two hours since he’s left the airport. Bill and Stan had offered to keep him company, but Richie had refused. He really just needed to be alone. He thought about going home, and but that would’ve been too much for him. Because the truth is, even though Eddie hasn’t stepped foot into the apartment in over a year, his presence still lingered. Sometimes Richie would come home, and the scent of the other man’s cologne was in the air, like he had just walked across the room. Sometimes, Richie would wake up in the morning to the faint sounds of pots and pans clanking in the kitchen, only to see an empty room when he stepped outside. Sometimes, he swore he heard the shower running, and if he listened hard enough, he could almost hear Eddie humming one of his tunes.

Richie was now laying down on a park bench, staring up at the sky, the moon barely visible through the clouds. This park was his place to go to when he wanted to escape the rest of the world. Back when he and Eddie were together, he would go here when they got into their fights, and Eddie needed to be alone. It was where he went to clear his head, and the only place that didn’t have a strong lingering memory of Eddie. It was almost 10:00pm now, so the park was pretty much empty, except for a few homeless people scattered around. It cold tonight, and he cursed himself for forgetting to bring his pack of cigarettes with him. With the excitement of running to the airport and confessing to his lover, Richie had only remembered to grab his jacket and keys. He thought back to everything that had happened to him in the past hour, and he felt like an idiot. He should’ve listened to his gut feeling and stayed away from Eddie. How could he be so stupid to think that the romantic gesture was going to change Eddie’s mind? He thought back to the moments when they first broke up. Richie had never felt pain as badly as when Eddie dumped him, not even when Henry Bowers almost killed him.

The first few months had been the hardest for him. Eddie had simply said that the relationship was becoming too much for him to handle. He had a job offer in London, ad he was going to take it. His flight was in a week. Richie remembered how hard he had cried, apologizing over and over again. He remembered telling Eddie he wanted to go with him. He remembered pleading with him that he would change, that he’d fix his habits for him. But Eddie had been resolute. He had said he needed to get away from everything, to get away from Richie. That was what hurt him the most. Because for as long as he could remember, Eddie had been the only one to stick by Richie’s side. Eddie was the one that comforted him through the hard nights when he felt like he wasn’t worth anything. Eddie was the one that patched up his wounds when he got into fights. Eddie was the one beside him, stroking his back, when he was bent over a toilet from too much alcohol. Eddie was the one he woke up to the next day when his head was pounding. And Eddie was the one Richie always ran to when life was too much for him to handle. He had been so fucked up that the one person with the most patience in his life couldn’t bare to be with him.

The only way for Richie to cope with the lost of Eddie was to be drunk, or high, or both. For the first two months of the break up, he was probably sober for a combined total of seven days. He knew it was hard for his friends to see him the way he was. It was probably the hardest for Stan, because Stan had been by his side during those times, and he was thankful. Because without Stan, Richie doesn’t think he could’ve made it through this past year. It was Stan who Richie called at 3:00am, intoxicated and crying about how much he missed Eddie. It was Stan who picked him up from bars at the early hours of the morning when he was so far gone, he could barely recognized his best friend. It was Stan who took him home, and put him to bed, and comforted him until he fell asleep. Stan the Man may have an icy cold exterior, but deep down, there was nothing he wouldn’t have done for his friends.

Richie pulled his phone out to check. He had put it on silent after receiving a few calls from Bev and choosing to ignore them. He figured it was time to at least let his friends know he was okay. He had gotten a dozen texts and missed calls from his friends, but there was one notification that caught his attention. _One new voicemail from Eddie Spaghetti_ , sent over forty five minutes ago. He pressed play and put the phone to his ear.

“R-Richie…” Eddie’s voice was shaking. “Rich, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For everything. F-for leaving you last year. For walking away earlier, without saying anything. I-,” he paused, trying to calm his breathing, “Please understand. I have a life in London that I can’t just drop.” _You dropped everything you had in New York to go to London_ , Richie thought bitterly. “I’m doing what I’ve always dreamed of, Rich,” his voice was breaking. Richie felt his own tears fall down his face and closed his eyes, clutching onto the phone. “I just wish it was easier for us, you know? Like how it was in the beginning. I mean, it wasn’t easy in Derry, but we had each other, and it was enough,” he could hear the soft crying on the other end. “Y-You have no idea what this weekend meant to me. To see you, and to be with you. Us together, with all our friends, like old times. It was-,” Eddie sniffled, “It was perfect.” There was a pause, and Richie thought the voicemail had ended, but Eddie spoke again. “You were my first love. My only love. I’ve never felt about anyone what I felt with you. You were my first kiss, my first… everything. I have so much that I want to say… so much I should say… But I-” Eddie’s breathing grew heavier, and there was another long pause. “Oh, fuck this.”

Richie’s eyes shot open, he could hear shuffling on the other side of the phone.

“Sir, please take your seat and put your seat belt back on. The plane will be taking off shortly.”

“I need to get off.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but-”

“I need to get off this plane!”

“Sir, you can’t-”

The voicemail ended abruptly. Richie frantically tried calling Eddie back, his heart beating out of his chest, fingers fumbling to dial the phone. He didn’t know if he was shaking from the cold or nerves. The first call went straight to voicemail. So did the second. And the third. “FUCK!” Richie yelled. “Eddie, Eds, baby, please pick up. Please tell me you got off the plane. Please, Eds, just-”

“I got off the plane.”

Richie spun around so quickly, his phone almost fell out of his hands. Standing a few feet from him, a faint light from the street lamp shining upon his face, was Eddie Kaspbrak. They both stood still, not knowing what to say.

“I-”

“How-”

They both went silent, waiting for the other to speak first.

“How’d you know I was here?” Richie finally asked.

Eddie shrugged and slowly started closing the distance between them. “I… I don’t really know. I remembered you used to come here whenever you had a bad day and… Bev drove me everywhere, but we couldn’t find you. I was just hoping…,” he sighed. “Richie,” his voice cracked, “Richie, I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier. And I’m sorry I left last year. I’m sorry for everything. I-”

Richie rushed forward and crashed his lips onto Eddie’s. His hands reached up to hold onto the smaller man’s face, as he felt his arms wrap around his waist. Richie could smell Eddie’s cologne. A smell that was both foreign and familiar. A smell that somehow still lingered in the apartment they used to share. A smell that Richie had missed so much. He felt rain falling lightly around them, but he didn’t care as he pulled Eddie closer to deepen the kiss, only breaking apart briefly to breathe before diving back in. When they finally broke apart, they were both breathing heavily, still holding each other. “Is this real? Please tell me this is real. Tell me you’re actually here with me right now. That this isn’t another dream because I’ve had too many like this, and I don’t think I can handle another one, Eds.”

“I’m here, Chee. It’s real, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> bitchardtozier.tumblr.com


End file.
